What no pre-departure orientation can prepare you for…
As the countdown begins to loom and—to put it crudely—shit begins to get real, I notice myself slipping into a cycle of routine emotional distress.
Owning your first apartment. Moving out on your own for the first time. Perhaps even owning your first car and fearing having to drive alone on the opposite side of the road. Being in a foreign land. Having to fend for yourself. And so much more. All at the same time.
That’s a lot to deal with. Don’t take it lightly.
Reality begins to hit you from every possible angle, and sometimes, it’s not pretty.
Today, I struggled to address relationships with friends. My insecurities had breached so many levels that I began to really fear losing relationships. And then the added stress of feeling like I needed to resolve things that had been long-standing issues.
Maybe what I’m trying to get at in short, and what my future self would probably agree with, is that I don’t have to necessarily address everything in my life at once. And writing this has already made me feel a lot better because that’s what I thought I needed to do.
Mental health is important. I’m taking time out, reevaluating what I’m doing, and getting some breathing in. Just doing whatever it takes to center myself in this hectic time.
Everything about life at this moment feels so tentative that I would really like to attach a huge “loading…” or “under construction” sign to myself.